Once upon a waistline
One day, in the medieval land of Titania, two innocent princesses were walking through the Black Forest, when they stumbled across a most peculiar thing. Before them stood a gigantic piece of ummy nummy cake, growing from the ground. Unable to resist, the pair munched and gobbled their way through the whole lot, blissfully unaware of the danger that followed.
Then, all of a sudden, the princesses disappeared.
Now, due to their addiction to the intense yumminess of this delicious cake and its cursed filling, the princesses find themselves in the most unfortunate situation. Trapped in dungeons, desperate for cake and too fat to move alone, the princesses are in quite a pickle.
If you want this story to end happily ever after, you must work your way through this fairytale land, rescue your princess and return her to the throne, with the help of your allies, weapons and of course, cake.
With a cherry on top
Titania is a quirky land of castles, cake and utter chaos. It is a cute but deadly place, where cake grows from the ground and archers lurk in the bushes waiting to kill you while you retrieve a piece for your overweight Highness.
The contrast between the cute princess with her yummy cakey treats and the hardened warriors slashing blood and guts all over the place is where the comic genius of the game lies. This cartoon-style caper will see you attack your enemies, while your podgy princess sits in her cell demanding more cake to feed her sweet tooth.
Each character can be customised, whether it's his hair, skin colour or voice, so he can look as mean and as menacing as you like on the battlefield. Watch him launch into Titania, screaming "who's your daddy?!" before attacking an unfortunate enemy.
Adding to the various dismembered limbs and the bloodstained grass of Titania, there is also the comical narration of the game which provides a few laughs throughout the story.
She ain't heavy, she's my princess
You've no doubt rescued dozens of princesses over your videogame life, but how do you keep one trapped? Simple: stuff her with cake until she's too fat for her rescuers to carry. Around each level you'll find giant slabs of yummy gateaux that are too good for the chubby royal to resist; carry them all back and you'll have quite the immovable object on your hands.
Selecting to be a Warrior, Mage, Priest, Ranger or Worker is as simple as donning the relevant hat from the hat machines. You can switch characters at any point to make use of their varied skills, such as the Priest's healing power or the Worker's ability to chop down trees and build ladders, catapults, bridges and more. The latter can also upgrade the hat-dispensing machines to unlock secondary abilities such as a shotgun to complement the Ranger's bow.
How you go about your mission is limited only by your imagination. Fat Princess is deep and accessible because its world works so logically. Walking through water slows you down; firing arrows through a flaming torch will set them alight; hacking away at a tree with an axe will eventually chop it down; and you can force entry into a castle by bashing the front door in. Initially, gameplay is all about experimentation – wondering if you can do something and invariably discovering that you can.
Up to eight players can jump into Titania together, either via Infrastructure Mode or Ad Hoc Mode and play any of the seven delicious, cherry-topped game types.
In Rescue the Princess you must rescue your ravenous one from the other team's castle while still keeping their princess captive – the winner is the first team to have both princesses in their castle. In Snatch 'N' Grab, the situation is reversed and you must kidnap the other team's princess from her throne three times in order to win the game.
Some game types are all about you and your dudes getting out there and painting the town red. In Demolition, you must deliver a gift to the enemy castle... a very heavy gift that explodes when left alone for more than 30 seconds. In Grim Reaper, up to eight players can enter the Gladiator Arena to team up and take down death personified.
Invasion is a territorial affair: capture outposts to drain your opposing team's health. As for Team Deathmatch... it's a battle to the death between two teams with a big creamy dollop of destruction to sink your teeth into.